I Hate Psychics
by chivalry-is-dead
Summary: -Hellboy 2- I've been banished from my home, lived in this strange world for 4 years, and now have something calld a BPRD, a red monkey, a flame wielder, and a psychic breathing down my neck. How could it be worse? I HATE psychics... maybe AbexOC
1. Prologue

chiv-id: OMG, I just saw the Hellboy 2 trailer, and it kicked ass! I so wanna watch it now! This is where I drew my inspiration from for this story.

Hellboy: Wha...? How'd I get here?

chiv-id: Oh, hey, just so you know: this-is-a-fanfiction.

Hellboy: I'm not dumb, course I know that. (looks around) Why am I here?

chiv-id: To tell the readers of the disclaimer!

Hellboy: ...That's it?

chiv-id: Well, that and you have to fight the monster in the next chapter...

Hellboy: ...Ah, well, here it goes...

Disclaimer: chiv-id don't own Hellboy...who the hell is...'Guillermo?' Anyway, she does own Phi'Nadell and other made up characters.

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I Hate Psychics

Prologue:

Name: Mera Gibbons (Phi'Nadell)

Age: 23 years old (real age…er…don't really know, but she's super old!)

Official Looks: Long, straight white hair, black skin with tribal markings all over her, amber eyes, lithe but strong body, size B bust, long legs, slightly pointed ears, looks to be about her fake age (23), has the tattoo of the Royal seal on the back of her right shoulder

Disguise: Long wavy blonde hair, green eyes, one tattoo of the Royal Seal on the back of her shoulder (usually concealed), ivory skin, size B bust, long legs, lithe but strong body

Personality: Considered an outcast of the elven race, Phi'Nadell is actually half elf, half shape shifter, an abomination because of her appearance. However, taken in by the King, she becomes one of the best of the King's guards and one of the greatest magical assassins in the underworld. Quick-witted and strong, Phi'Nadell's shape shifting ability is one of the greatest, despite being a half-breed. She's extremely loyal to anyone of the royal family, but in particular, to the King and his daughter. Typically calm and serious for most situations, she has no love life and rarely has any fun, though many have sought her hand as she grew older and became more and more beautiful, whether it be through attraction or want of a powerful ally. Her appearance gave her the nickname of the "Dark Elf" in the magical underworld.

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chiv-id: Okay, that's the prologue, now onto the next chapter!

Hellboy: Hold on, need my gun.

chiv-id: Well, we'll move on while you get your gun. Read on!


	2. Her Story

chiv-id: Okay, for those of you who continued on to this chapter, you won't be disappointed! It's super long, so enjoy reading, 'kay?

Phi'Nadell: ...This is quite a sum of words.

chiv-id: Oh! Phi, God, you scared me for a second there! Jeez, assassins...

Hellboy: Hey, this the new girl?

chiv-id: Yup! And she's going to do the disclaimer!

Phi'Nadell: ...Do I just read this or...?

chiv-id: Yes, read that line right there.

Disclaimer: chiv-id doesn't own Hellboy, but she does own Phi'Nadell...was that all right?

chiv-id: Yeah, so just sit back and relax and read, begin!

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I Hate Psychics

Chapter 1: Her Story

Little Phi'Nadell ran through the streets of the magical kingdom of the elves, chased by a group of elven children who threw rotten food at her. Her dark complexion often provoked such reactions, but she couldn't do anything about it. After all, because she was not pure elf, she was not considered to be the same status.

"Go away little freak," they taunted, "You are not us. You will never be us." Her tears blinded her glowing yellow eyes as she continued to run, the food staining her already dirtied tunic, a dirt brown that contrasted against her black skin.

"Please, 'tis not my fault," she pleaded, "I did not want to be so!"

"It is so!" they cried back as she turned around to face them, her crying face greeting their eager and bloodthirsty ones, "You were born and therefore it be your fault!" Phi'Nadell was born an impure Elf, half elf from her mother, Drizell, and half shape shifter from her father, Phra'Dhi. Drizell had once been a noble elf woman, a beautiful elven maiden with dazzling white hair and a slim shape that held reign over the trade and commerce sector of the kingdom. Phra'Dhi was a devilishly handsome black-skinned red haired shape shifter with entrancing yellow eyes, whose main occupation was rogue, lady's man, and merchant. Though the shape shifters were considered to be well-respected and allies with the elven community, it was thought of as an abomination to mix races (actually the elves consider it an abomination to mix their race with anyone's race except their own). When Drizell had looked into Phra'Dhi's own eyes and he into hers, though, something extraordinary happened: **they fell in love**. A forbidden romance blossomed between the two and, in time, a babe had been born. When the child was revealed, Drizell refused to give the name of the father, although it was quite obvious that it was a shape shifter who had conceived the infant. From there, Drizell was outcast, as was her child, and Phra'Dhi was distraught. When the elves had told the powerful merchant that they had executed her instead of throwing her away, he killed himself, and in turn, led to Drizell's own suicide. Not quite learning the truth of her heritage, Phi'Nadell, as named by her mother before she killed herself, eventually grew to fear the rest of the world and her appearance. Having to rely on her wit, as she didn't know she was half shape shifter, she learned to avoid her half-brethren and anyone else, stealing here and there, hiding in small places, growing up as a street rat.

"Away demon!" they shrieked, the elven children now picking up rocks and throwing them unmercifully at her, "Away!"

"Please, stop!" she cried, feeling the pain intensely on her back as she ran away again, "Why?!" Suddenly, she ran into something that made her nearly stop breathing. A tall elf noble looked down at her, his hair as white as hers and his face seemed to glow with warmth and open kindness. A crown that seemed to touch the sky and blot out the sun rested upon his head and the large robes he wore were white, orange, and red, indicating his high status. The children behind her grew silent and guiltily dropped the rocks as they stared.

"It's the king…" they whispered to each other, drawing back and then running away, having been caught at their detestable deed. The elven king, giving the group a cold look, looked down at the little half-breed girl who seemed even more afraid of this single elf then the rest of the children combined.

"And who are you, little one?" he asked in a soft voice, bending down so as not to scare her. She scrambled on her elbows to back up, scared. He held out a hand, a small smile on his lips as she blinked and her face changed to one of confusion. The king waited for a response, never moving from his spot and keeping that grandfatherly smile on his face. It calmed her considerably and she got up, sitting with her legs out as she extended her own hand to fit in his.

"Phi'Nadell," she whispered, "I am Phi'Nadell."

"Well, then Phi'Nadell," he chuckled softly, closing his hand around hers, "Would you like to come with me?"

"Where?" she asked suspiciously, and he chuckled again.

"To my palace," he said, pulling gently, "Where you will be safe, of course."

"…Why?" she asked, getting up as he pulled her to her feet.

"And what does this 'why' pertain to?" he asked in return.

"Why do you help me? I am nothing but a lowly freak," she said softly, not looking at him. He squeezed her hand and she looked up, tears shining on her face.

"I…feel that all creatures have a right to be treated equally," he explained as he walked along, shielding her from hateful eyes within his massive folds of his robes, "Take for example: us."

"'Us'…you mean you elves?" she asked.

"Yes, but I mean both you and me. You are also an elf, my dear, if you would have a mirror and see the trademark of our heritage: our ears," he said, pointing to his own pointed appendages, Phi'Nadell touching hers and feeling the pointed tips, "And we elves have been rulers of this world for billions and billions of years. Now, I suppose, we must give mankind a turn. After all, it is only fair because we had treated them as lowly as…well…I'm sure you get the idea."

"But…I have heard that humans are savage and turn their back on us magical ones," Phi'Nadell said, shown to be street smart, "Oh, I see it!" She quickly forgot the conversation as she looked upon the majestic towers and flying buttresses of the palace. Amazed and dazzled, she had to be pushed along by the king as she continued to lag to observe it. Never had she been in a place so grand!

"Father, father!" a small voice cried, a little elven girl running in her blue dress down the stairs to greet him, "There you are! I was afraid you had gotten lost amongst the crowd of our people again!" He chuckled and opened his robes a little to reveal Phi'Nadell, who shyly dove back in, hugging his side.

"Oh father, you did find her!" she exclaimed in relief, "I thought that she'd be stoned to death by those brutes. They should be ashamed!" The daughter of the king flew down and embraced Phi'Nadell, who didn't hug back and just stood there in shock.

"Hello, I am Princess Nuala," she said, "I have watched many of your endeavors from my window in the tower. I had feared that you would have been caught one day when you were stealing or by those elven children there. 'Twas only today that father finally took notice of you when I told him."

"…Thank you Princess Nuala," she said, the little half-breed bowing a little as Nuala released her. Nuala smiled and took little Phi'Nadell by the hand, running up to her room in the tower while the King laughed.

"Those two will grow close indeed," he guessed, walking away to attend more pressing matters. Meanwhile, Nuala had dragged Phi'Nadell to the glorious little bedroom which was so finely decorated and embroidered; the street rat could only gape.

"This is my room," Nuala said, then pointed to a door, "And this is the room I had secretly made for you. Father only knew about this today, but he approves." Phi'Nadell cautiously opened the door and was astounded. White ivory and black marble was the main theme, a black bedspread covering a large queen size bed, white pillows adorning the headboard. A small white couch with more lusciously soft and enormous black pillows surrounded it, as if prepared for a sleep over. A black marble vanity with white drawers sat off to the side, and a large window over looked the rest of the kingdom between the vanity and the bed.

"How…" Phi'Nadell was lost for words, covering her mouth with her hands.

"Do you like it?" Nuala asked and greeted by tears of joy as well as a flying hug, Phi'Nadell happy and grateful. It was then and there that the two began to become close friends. When Nuala began her studies, Phi'Nadell would always curiously peer over the educated girl's shoulders and try to be as scholarly as the royal girl. The king recognized this effort and proceeded to give Phi'Nadell lessons as well, which she took to like fish to bait. Her intelligence soon became equal to that of Nuala's but Phi'Nadell would refuse to go beyond Nuala's own lessons, purposely dumbing herself whenever Nuala would fall behind in her own studies. Phi'Nadell also became interested in martial arts and the techniques of fighting, the king giving Phi'Nadell lessons and courses in these areas as well. Soon, Phi'Nadell became one of the best warriors the king ever had, her body becoming toned and increasingly pleasing to the eye. As the two girls grew up, they became more and more beautiful. Phi'Nadell etched into her skin markings that would forever mark her as an accomplished assassin as well as the royal insignia onto her right shoulder, pledging her loyalty officially to the royal family. Phi'Nadell eventually learned of her heritage through the king's narration, the king asking her father's sister to teach her how to use her shape shifting powers, her aunt. Phra'Zhi was Phi'Nadell's aunt, a strict one who grew to love Phi'Nadell as her own child, and Phi'Nadell grew to feel as though Phra'Zhi was more of a mother than an aunt. They too became close to one another, but Nuala and the king took more precedence in Phi'Nadell's heart as it was them who had reared her in the beginning and helped her. Finally, when Phi'Nadell seemed an appropriate age, they decided to introduce her to the royal court.

"No, they will despise me," Phi'Nadell protested, "You know they will! Oh, please, let me stay shut within my own quarters! The solitude would be more gratifying then that of those noblemen and women breathing down my neck!"

"They will love you," Nuala assured her, "You've grown so much, and I doubt that they'll hate you."

"Oh, you don't know that!" Phi'Nadell cried, trying to get out of Nuala's grasp and shrug off the purple dress that blended with her skin, "Please! Let me go!"

"Phi'Nadell, enough of that," the king commanded, causing Phi'Nadell to freeze, "If they do taunt you, I will make sure that they will never walk within the boundaries of mine kingdom again. I promise you that."

"…To be true, I doubt that you can," Phi'Nadell whispered, "After all, it would damage your reputation to defend the likes of me…"

"Not at all," the king chuckled softly, taking her chin, "You've become a beautiful girl, my dear. I'd say that many would seek your hand if they did not know that it was I who held your parental consent for marriage." She blushed at that comment and the King chuckled again.

"Come now," he told them both, "You look lovely, my dears. And remember, if any elven man comes to ask for either of your hands, come to me and tell me. I will make sure that they'll be running with their tails between their legs."

"Father!" Nuala giggled, Phi'Nadell joining her as she couldn't contain it.

"All right, all right, now come along," the king said, "We have a court to attend to after all." Phi'Nadell smoothed the purple gown and sighed. She had a pleasing form, the dress being quite a bit different from Nuala's, as it fit her form more and wasn't as "poofy". Her long white hair was brushed and swept behind her ear, the front part of her hair braided and wrapped around her head like a wreath (think Zelda from Super Mario Bros. Brawl). The gown reached to the floor, flaring out a bit to give her a bit more mobility, it's style was spaghetti straps, two of them keeping the gown on her shoulders with several other straps were hanging off her shoulders to become ringlets. She wore gloves that reached up to her elbows and were fingerless. Nuala had a metallic blue gown that was more old-fashioned, in which the bottom bloomed out into ruffles and layers of material and silk. Phi'Nadell held Nuala's hand as they walked behind the king, through the hallways and finally to the court. The king went first, entering the room through the curtains, a large amount of applause greeting him.

"Fellow brethren of the court," he began, "I believe that you know that my daughter has finally reached the age of…nuptial consent…" More applause occurred.

"And this," he gestured to the party, "In essence, should be her introduction into society. However, it is also another's to step into the light. She is…different, but she has grown to be almost like a second daughter to me. So, without ado, let me introduce my daughter and…foster daughter, Nuala and Phi'Nadell." Nuala entered on the right of the king's throne, while Phi'Nadell entered on the left. Silence consumed the once clapping hands as they stared at Phi'Nadell, the beautiful ebony-colored girl whose markings stood out clearly in the light, her pretty amber eyes shyly peering up through long white eye lashes that fluttered every time she happened to blink. Nuala looked to Phi'Nadell, who shyly looked back, and walked forward, motioning for her to walk down with her. Both of the girls had a measure of grace, Nuala with royal boldness, Phi'Nadell with stealthy softness. As they descended and met at the bottom of the steps, none of the guests had moved, softly whispering among themselves.

"…Nuala," Phi'Nadell whispered, her voice soft and ashamed, "Now do you believe me?" Nuala looked at them then, her eyes glowing fiercely as she dared them to say anything about Phi'Nadell. Then, the unexpected happened: a smaller guest of the party, an elven boy who was a considerably younger than Phi'Nadell, approached her, emerging from the crowd. He made his way over to her, ignoring his mother's commanding eyes and evading her grasp. The elven boy reached into his pocket and produced a beautiful white lily, his face upturned to hers with dazed eyes.

"For you, miss," he spoke, holding out the flower to her, standing on his toes to reach her. Phi'Nadell was speechless, one hand over her heart, the other clutching the fabric of her dress at her hip. A soft and entrancing smile passed across her face, holding as she kneeled down gracefully and letting him put it in her hair.

"Thank you," she whispered to him, kissing his cheek, "A fair trade, wouldn't you agree?" The boy, his white marble face tinged with pink, nodded and smiled happily.

"Perhaps I could arrange a better trade," another guest said, an older elven boy stepping out, looking as if to be in his latter teens, "Freyer, come, mother is not happy." The young elven boy, Freyer, shuffled obediently to his brother's side, but smiled at Phi'Nadell before disappearing into the crowd again.

"I am Eramyr," the older elf said, "And, if I may, ask for your company?" Nuala beamed at the stunned Phi'Nadell, who could only nod at the handsome elf. When Eramyr extended his hand, Phi'Nadell lightly laid her own in his. He bowed slowly, Phi'Nadell curtsying to his pace, and then both rose back up. As if by magic, the tension was broken and the party commenced, other elven men coming over and talking to Nuala. Eramyr guided her over to a balcony, warding away any other suitors with a cold look.

"Are you all right? You seem very quiet," Eramyr asked, both of them resting on the balcony ledge.

"It's just all so…unexpected," she hesitantly explained.

"Oh? Why is that?"

"Surely you can see my…unusual characteristics…"

"Of course, but it only enhances your elegance."

"My elegance? Surely you jest."

"No, you may think it, but you are a rare jewel, a treasure. I see you as a beautiful young elven woman who is gentle and kind, shy and modest, traits that most elven girls feign, but you…you have a genuine aura that seems to radiate all of these things and more."

"And what would those 'other' things be?"

"That is a mystery I would like to solve myself," Eramyr turned to her and she to him, "One that I'm sure both of us would be interested in finding out…" Phi'Nadell blushed as she looked away for a moment, but Eramyr took her chin and lifted it up to look at him. Once that was done, he brushed the back of his knuckles across her cheek and she nearly melted at his touch. Never had she felt this kind of affection before, and it was overpowering to say the least. Her eyes closed and he smiled, turning his hand so that he could cup her face and she leaned into his palm.

"Eramyr!" hissed a voice, one that made both of them jump, "What are you doing?" A young elven maiden had her hands on her hips and was glaring at Eramyr, who guiltily smiled at her. She was older than Phi'Nadell, her curled platinum blonde hair, which would have looked wonderful at night in the light of the chandeliers, looked somewhat like greasy paper curls in the light of the sun. The female's body shape was very voluptuous, her enormous bosom heaving out as she continued to hold her outraged bent position.

"I leave you for a few moments and this is what you do?! Leave me for some half-breed wench!" she whispered heatedly at him, Phi'Nadell stiffening beside Eramyr. The elven man took offense and he stood in front of Phi'Nadell, as if trying to protect her from the female elf's hateful words.

"Seera, this is none of your concern!" he tried to keep his voice as low as possible, not wanting to alert the king nor any of the other guests of the drama, "Just because I had taken you here does not mean that we are bound!"

"Yes-it-does!" she emphasized each word as she stalked them, "Look at her! What does she possess that I do not? A larger bosom?! I think not. Perhaps a perfect white face? No, no, of course not! Or, or, yellow hair, which is rare, even among the most highly distinguished elven ladies of the court? No! No, no, no!"

"Seera, enough! You're upsetting her!" Eramyr scolded, looking over his shoulder at Phi'Nadell who looked down with resignation and despairing agreement.

"No! 'Tis not enough!" Seera seethed, pushing him away, "You foul creature! How dare you think that you, a lowly _half-breed_, could possibly enchant _my_ Eramyr! I believe that you need a lesson in humility, maybe those stones weren't good enough to teach you that! You remember, don't you, all those years ago? You will never, _never_, be an elf, because as long as you have impure blood, you'll only be a _freak_!!" Eramyr was speechless, never had he seen Seera so hateful. Suddenly, something occurred to him, something very important: it was quiet. Not a voice was speaking inside the room, and when he turned slowly to look into it, he found dozens of eyes staring at him and the scene before him. The king himself seemed to be grasping the arms of the throne with increasing rage and agitation, his face hardened, no longer holding the grandfatherly aspect.

"Seera…" he whispered to her, Seera not paying attention, her pretty face contorted into an ugly grimace, "Apologize or-"

"Apologize or what? What, Eramyr? And _for_ what? She doesn't deserve anything from me, _especially_ an apology!" Seera turned on him, but she too found the eyes and their terrible gazes. She paled, her marble skin turning even whiter as she realized the king's furious eyes were pinned directly on her!

"I will _not_ have _my_ foster daughter talked to like that," he spoke in a dark tone that made her drop to the floor on the balcony.

"Oh, please, I didn't mean-if I had known-"

"Spare me the details Seera Fanghorn, you've done enough damage. Take her away. Eramyr…you may stay if you wish." The pleading in her eyes to Eramyr was not enough as she was dragged out, Eramyr only shaking his head in disbelief that Seera couldn't let go of the hate she had in her heart. He turned to look at Phi'Nadell only to find that she had fled the scene, her heart crushed by the encounter.

"Oh no," Nuala whispered, running after Phi'Nadell as she spied wisps of the purple gown slip through the curtains. She saw Phi'Nadell run through the hallways, run up the stairs and close the door to their rooms. Nuala sadly walked up to the stairs and opened it slowly, peering in and seeing Phi'Nadell lean against the door of her own room, shaking head. Depressed and tiredly, Phi'Nadell opened the door and shut it behind her, a few sobs coming through the thick door.

"Phi…" Nuala whispered, coming to the door. Suddenly, she heard singing, something she had never heard Phi'Nadell do. It was sad and yet, hopeful, as if she were only singing to raise her spirits. It was a human world song, but she didn't know where it came from and how Phi'Nadell came to learn it.

"…_Teeeelllll…me liiieeesss…and I'll…come runnin'…IIIII…must've loooosssttt, my miiiiiinnnndd…_" (1) came her voice, and Nuala couldn't help but admit that it was Phi'Nadell had a wonderful voice. Phi'Nadell was leaning against the door, singing the song that she had heard on chance when she had journeyed to the human world, chasing a fugitive. Thinking that it was fitting, she sang it, and it made her forget all of her troubles at once as she began.

"…That was beautiful," Nuala said loudly, scaring Phi'Nadell, "Where did you learn it?" Phi'Nadell didn't answer, but merely closed her mouth and hugged her knees like a child. Phi'Nadell had in fact learned it when she passed by a house that was watching a video, the song attracting her as she cleaned her blades of the blood from the fugitive. A child was sitting in front of a box of some sorts, watching something that was in it and listening to the song that it produced. Phi'Nadell was intrigued because of the sound of the song, so soulful and beautiful, despite being it being childish.

"I am sure that they are all waiting for you downstairs," Nuala said, dismissing her curiosity and bringing Phi'Nadell back to reality, "Surely you do not wish to keep them waiting, Phi."

"…_Teeeelllll…me liiieeesss…_" Phi'Nadell began in humor, Nuala shaking her head, "_And I'll…come runnin'…_"

"This isn't a lie."

"And that is why I'll not come running."

"Please, that girl will be dealt with…harshly, if I know anything of father."

"That would do nothing, except make him seem like a tyrant. And me…a selfish spoiled outcast who got lucky."

"Don't think of it! Don't you dare refer yourself to an outcast, because it is you who isolates yourself!

"For the better! I think of the king and you, I fear for your reputations if anyone knew that I was housed here, and now…because of that girl…my fears have come true."

"…It is that girl and _her_ reputation that is soiled, not ours Phi'Nadell. Come out, I am sure that they will welcome you with open arms."

"…Now that, I can believe a lie," Phi'Nadell sighed, running an ebony hand through her white hair, "Still, even if they do not mock me openly-"

"Excuse me…" a new voice had entered the room and Phi'Nadell quickly shut her mouth. It was Eramyr.

"Yes, Eramyr, what is it?" Nuala asked, getting up from her kneeling position by the door.

"I've come to apologize for Seera's behavior," he told her, "She has been pestering me for months on end, and I finally gave in and took her with me here. Seera's only looked out for herself and believed that she would gain higher status, perhaps to that of a noble woman like yourself or Miss Nadell here."

"I could believe that," Nuala ground out, still angry at Seera for having driven off Phi'Nadell, "I'll have her thrown out of our Eden for upsetting Phi so!"

"'Phi?'" he said, "I see you two truly are close."

"Like blood sisters," Nuala said, "And like a sister, I am trying to get her out of her room so that she may enjoy the party. If you could persuade her perhaps…?"

"Miss Nadell, if you could come out, I would take you arm-in-arm and make sure no one would dare utter words as foul as Seera, I promise you that," he said, making Phi'Nadell put a hand to her mouth in wonder, "Miss Nadell?" The door opened slightly and Phi'Nadell walked out slowly, her amber eyes meeting his blue ones.

"Come, let us go back downstairs," Eramyr said, holding out his arm. Phi'Nadell hesitated before grasping the proffered arm and letting him lead her down back to the party where, indeed, everyone was waiting for her return. They clapped, making her blush and squeeze Eramyr's arm tighter.

"Phi'Nadell, there you are," the king said, standing up from his throne as she walked down arm in arm with Eramyr, "I suppose…you are going to ask for her hand?"

"Well, yes," Eramyr admitted hesitantly, "But I…if she does not wish to get married, I will not ask." This made Phi'Nadell look up at him in surprise.

"I mean, after all," Eramyr explained, "After what happened a little while ago, you deserve a choice." Phi'Nadell looked down and shook her head, showing that she didn't want to get married. Understanding her silent talk, Eramyr put a hand on hers and held onto her as they walked across the floor to stand on the same balcony. Though they never got married, the two became fast friends, Nuala and the king both approving of the friendship as long as nothing romantic happened between them. Eramyr, as one would have it, was actually a cousin of Phi'Nadell's, his mother being the sister of Drizell, Phi'Nadell's mother. Neither one knew until the king had delved into the matter, making Freyer Phi'Nadell's cousin as well. This broke the boy's heart, but enjoyed playing with his new cousin whenever they had the chance. Phi'Nadell never felt happier, but now only talked with her family or adopted family and very close friends, distrusted anyone else. However, a huge disruption in her life occurred on the day of her discovered birthday, on which the Prince Nuava, Nuala's estranged brother, came and attempted an assassination. Nuava, who's skills were known throughout the magical underworld, slew each and every one of the king's guards, though the king was hidden away in time and he survived. Nuala, fearing for Phi'Nadell's life, as she knew the assassin would swear to hunt Nuava down in the underworld and kill him, had quickly undertaken a grave measure: sending her to the human world and trapping her there. By enacting the very seal on Phi'Nadell's shoulder, she was able to prevent Phi'Nadell from ever returning to the magical underworld unless it was she who deactivated the seal.

"Nuala…why?" were Phi'Nadell's last words to her as a barrier was erected between the two, forever banishing the shape shifter elf. That was at least 4 years ago, and Phi'Nadell still brooded over the subject as she sat there at her human job, working as a relic caretaker. After the first month in the human world, Phi'Nadell had realized that she couldn't continue stealing food, hiding in abandoned buildings, or hunt down criminal magical underworld criminals every single night. So, she had developed an alias, transforming herself into Mera Gibbons, a 23-year old amnesia patient who started her life over and has yet to find her true past. Phi'Nadell considered it a bit troublesome to pretend that she wanted to know what her past was when she already knew it, however, it did give her an excuse to find a way back to her true home.

"Hey, Mera…Mera!" a voice snapped her back to reality, causing her to stand straight up in her seat, "Jeez, sorry, didn't mean ta scare ya like that, but you was zonin' outs again. As I was sayin', this one's a keepa', the crown of Bethlamora or whateva, pretty valuable, and it's gonna be auctioned off in a few days, so get its ready, will ya?"

"Yes, Hieman," she replied, frowning as she stared at the familiar artifact. She recognized as the same piece that was stolen about a few nights ago. Phi'Nadell had hunted down the worm creature criminal, as she was still able to glean off from her magical assassin necklace of reports about things stolen or felons escaped into the human world, and killed him, but couldn't find the crown anywhere. Realizing that it was now untouchable, as its presence would indeed be missed, she frowned.

"'Ey, Mera, don't have ta be formal or nothin'," the greasy boss said, "Call me Vinny, any time babe." He leaned on her desk as she sat back down, his smell appalling and making her mentally gag for a moment. However, she only waved a hand in front of her to ward him away.

"I am not 'babe'," she said disdainfully, "And no, I'm not going on a date with you either. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to prep my 'guest'." Vinny pulled a sour face and left, shaking his head and mumbling something about dames.

"The crown of Bethalmora," she sighed, "I should have known that two-faced worm man would have sold it to buy some more dirt…crack heads, all of them!" (2) She set to carefully cleaning, as she would her own items, which is how she landed her job. They had admired her meticulous nature, despite her shady past, and offered her a job as the relic caretaker, although she hadn't really thought she'd be cleaning artifacts that were from her own home world. It took her at least an hour to clean off the grime from the worm man and the humans who handled it and grimaced. The crown of Bethlamora wasn't something to be handled by mere worms and men, but by royalty of the elven court, like the king…or Nuala…

"Nuala…" she said absentmindedly, sighing as she put it in its purple velveteen box and looked at the clock. It read about 6:00 PM, a good time to finish. Phi'Nadell, or 'Mera', walked out with the box and looked around for the curator, who was getting the auction room ready with the help of a few other people. Phi'Nadell suddenly felt the recognizable warmth right above her cleavage from her necklace and quickly shoved the box into the curator's hands, walking away without saying good-bye. Phi'Nadell walked to her apartment, her gait no longer that of a human's but of a customary and graceful assassin, her boots not making a sound. Reaching her apartment and going inside, she morphed into her normal appearance. Her blonde hair became stark white, her skin no longer ivory but ebony, and her eyes flashed changed from green to amber. Stripping down, Phi'Nadell quickly donned her assassin attire, a long black flowing cape that had a hood, her black wife beater and black bikini (the bottom part only), several pieces of silver armor that went around her shoulders, breast, and knees, black soft felt boots that made little noise along with her black gloves and scarf, her belt and tools, and lastly, her custom-made knives and broadsword. Pulling the wife beater part over her mouth and the scarf tightly around her neck, she checked her appearance and quickly opened the window, using the fire escape to get to the roof and check her necklace. Pure gold and with a clear piece of alls-mirror, a substance that all assassins use to observe their targets, it was Phi'Nadell's most prized possession. It told her of several maulings of underworld citizens, including elves, and now, the fugitive was in the human world, no doubt hunting poor defenseless humans now.

"A werewolf," she surmised, "A true beast, silver should tame it." She had several silver weapons within her mini arsenal belt, located on her waist. She drew out the silver-tipped claws and slipped the rings on her fingers, the claws gleaming in the moon light.

"A hunt then," Phi'Nadell said to herself, "Strange I should be chasing a werewolf…I suppose this one is from a guild, but why would it flee here?" Phi'Nadell jumped down to another building's roof top and quickly darted to the target's position, in a park where it seemed to indeed be attacking humans. She ran silently, darting from shadow to shadow, her assassin skills never dulling in the least since her arrival, the numerous magical criminals keeping her on her toes as they crossed constantly from her world to the human's. Phi'Nadell finally reached the park and was surprised to see the werewolf staring down one particular individual with a group standing behind them. However, she also noticed that the werewolf was not alone, already having conjured up a group of his own followers, three to be precise.

"All right mutt," said the unknown figure, raising up his gun, "I'll give ya three seconds to back down or I'm gonna have ta shoot ya. And trust me, these are pretty big bullets." The black male werewolf glared, his maw dripping with saliva as he bared his teeth and growled at the big man. The three beside him bristled considerably as they realized their leader's aggression and bared their teeth in turn. The man didn't seem too fazed by this, however, and pointed the gun right at the head of the leader.

"Red, I don't think that's a good idea," said one male from the group, stepping away and coming next to the male with the gun, "Werewolves are only immune to silver and-"

"If the bullets are big enough, I don't think that matters," 'Red' replied, "Besides Blue, don't you think you should stay outta this one? Liz, you too."

"Uh, uh H.B.," a female said, presumably Liz, "Even if fire isn't something that they're immune to, I'm pretty sure it'll hurt either way." A small bluish flame sprang from Liz's hands, surprising Phi'Nadell as Liz stepped forward, her pale skin glowing blue slightly from the light of the flame.

"Yeah, well, I think-" as 'Red' or 'H.B.' turned around to look at Liz the leader of the werewolf sprang at them, Liz throwing a fireball at it. Dodging, the werewolf attacked 'Red' and bit his arm, making him fall down. Shaking her head, Phi'Nadell ran towards the group, making sure she was unseen.

"Agh, back down Fido!" 'Red' grunted, actually pushing his arm into the werewolf's mouth in order to make sure it didn't get any closer. Phi'Nadell was again surprised and saw that the arm that 'Red' was using was actually made of stone! As told by his nickname, the man was actually red, from his head to his tail…tail?! Phi'Nadell had to take another look from her new hiding spot, seeing that the man was actually not as helpless as she thought. However, she did notice that the rest of the group was being stalked by the other three werewolves.

"Oh, this does _not_ look good," Liz said, "Do any of you guys have silver bullets?" The rest of the group shook their heads, Liz giving a noise of frustration as the fire spread from her hands to her arms, trying to ward them away. The one called 'Blue' didn't seem like he'd be much help either as he was unarmed.

"Red, get your big red butt over here!" Liz yelled as one tried to attack, only to get his hair singed on his tail, making the wolf howl in pain before rolling to get the fire out. Once that was done, it seemed even angrier. Phi'Nadell had enough, she morphed into a creature she had happened upon one or two years ago: Sammael, the Desolate One. She gave a shriek as she jumped down from the tree, her claws actually silver because she morphed with them on. A black female werewolf gave whines of pain as Phi'Nadell jumped on her, bearing her into the ground. Phi'Nadell ripped into the back of the werewolf's neck with her teeth, tearing out the spine and rendering the werewolf helpless. Next, Phi'Nadell quickly ran and smashed into the brown male werewolf that was leaping towards the group with his maw wide open. Phi'Nadell clamped her jaw down on the werewolf's throat, silencing the whining by ripping out its throat. The last remaining werewolf was a grey male, afraid of Phi'Nadell as she gave another otherworldly shriek, its tail between its legs as it backed up. Before he could run away, however, she snapped out her tongue and wrapped it around the wolf's muzzle, making it give a noise of fear. She tugged and pulled, making him come to her. He tried in vain to dig in his claws and stop the movement, but ended up being dragged anyways. Phi'Nadell finally released it, but slashed its face with her claws, the silver gleaming talons of death making the werewolf howl as it burned his face, making him fall to the ground in writhing agony as the silver began to sink in and it bore into his face. She quickly ended his suffering by slashing his throat with a claw.

"Another Sammael?" 'Blue' wondered out loud, making her look at him. He seemed to regret it as he backed away further into the ring of people, but she didn't mind him, stalking towards the paralyzed female and killing her as well with a quick swipe to her neck. The three werewolves turned back into their human selves, making Phi'Nadell pity them all the more. Suddenly, she heard guns cocking and saw that the whole group had guns, all of them pointed at her. Phi'Nadell instead fled, right in 'Red's' direction, where they were forced to hold their fire. She stood right next to 'Red', who was still fighting the leading male werewolf, his black fur being ripped out by clumps as 'Red' kept on trying to pull him off of him.

'Just run, just run,' she told herself, not wanting to involve herself further. However, when she heard a cry of pain from 'Red', she looked back and regretted it. The werewolf was using his right clawed hand to keep his normal hand pinned to the ground, his jaw occupied with 'Red's' stone hand, using his back legs and left claw to rake the man beneath him, deep gouges forming on the red man's skin. She groaned mentally, instead giving the loudest shriek she had given yet, making the werewolf look at her. Phi'Nadell shrieked again, slamming her fist on the ground, sticking her chest out and looked the werewolf straight in the eye.

"What…what's happening?" asked Myers, staring at the confrontation as the werewolf merely jumped off of 'Red' and turned to face 'Sammael', "And didn't we kill that thing already?" Liz just shook her head.

"I don't know, but now I can get a clear shot," Liz said, "If H.B.'s wounded like that, the fire's really gonna hurt, even if he is fireproof." She prepared herself, but Abe put his hand out and she stopped, looking at him questioningly.

"Wait…I don't think he's in trouble," Abe said watching the two creatures stare each other down, "I think…I think Sammael is helping him."

"What? That doesn't make any sense, why would it do something like that? The Sammael we fought wouldn't do anything like this, it doesn't _help_ people, it eats and kills people," Myers said with emphasis.

"Exactly, this is not the Sammael we know," Abe said, "In fact, I don't think that it is truly a Sammael at all." They watched as the black werewolf finally sprang forward, teeth open, and Phi'Nadell swinging out her bone claw, whipping it across the werewolf's face and dodging to the side as it landed just where she just was. He growled at her, glaring with his blood stained muzzle and his now broken jaw. Phi'Nadell stood up, the werewolf copying, and they circled each other, Phi'Nadell breaking the tension by swinging her bone claw again, the werewolf actually capturing it and barking at her. He grasped it firmly and swung her to his right, flinging Phi'Nadell into the ground.

'Damn, to be bested by a werewolf,' she thought in pain, popping her joints back in place, 'You'll not live another night, you wretched dog!' She snapped out her tongue and it wrapped around the werewolf's neck, making him drop her claw as she grabbed her tongue and pulled, wrenching him down onto the ground with her. His claws were pulling at the tongue around his neck, but she instead clamped her on jaw on his head, using her own claws to dig into his shoulders. This made the werewolf howl in pain as the silver-tipped claws began burning him slowly, one clawed hand making an effort to take her claws out of his shoulders, the other on her head, trying to pull her jaw off of him. Pulling and wrenching, a resounding crack was heard, the werewolf's whining instantly ceasing, then ripping and shredding, the werewolf's head came off in her mouth. As he turned back into a human, she spit out the head, the horrified look on the head of the black-haired Asian man scaring the group as it stopped at their feet.

"Oh crap," 'Red' said, being severely wounded, his gun a good distance away from his outstretched hand. However, she only looked at him and then walked on all fours slowly towards him. Liz was ready to blaze her and 'Red' put his stone arm in defense, but all she did was nose the gun, sniffing it curiously. She picked it up in her maw and dropped it near his hand, nosing the gun towards him until he hesitantly grasped it. That done, she mentally sighed and turned to leave, but felt a strange buzzing in the back of her head. On guard, she barricaded her thoughts before the buzzing could read them, and she looked at 'Blue' who frowned a bit, his outstretched hand blue on the outside, a mottle pink on the inside.

'I **hate **psychics,' she thought, snorting as she ran off, leaving the group in total wonderment, especially Abe who swore he could feel something sentient about her.

"What…the hell just happened?" Hellboy asked, Liz, Myers, and the rest of the FBI agents coming over to help him up and gather the dead bodies.

"I think we might have a friendly Hound of Destruction," Abe joked, the grey-blue creature disappearing in the shadows, "Whatever or whoever that was, was no enemy of ours. However, I think we should keep a close eye on him."

"I'm sorry, I'm confused, did that thing just play fetch?" asked Myers, the back of his hand over his nose as he gagged at the decapitated head, "With Hellboy's gun?"

"Seems as thought he was protecting him," Abe said, Hellboy raising an eye brow at him, "Strange, yes, but that's our business, isn't it?" A terrified scream along with a howl made them all cringe as the scream abruptly ended, several other screams erupting in the same vicinity.

"Well, looks like our work ain't done yet," Hellboy said, slapping a hand on Myers' shoulder, "Don't get too queasy, lots more where that came from." Gesturing to the decapitated head and several other naked and mauled bodies, Myers began to gag again, making Hellboy smirk while Liz put his normal arm over her shoulder. Abe sighed as several other agents, hearing Myers gag, began dry heaving at the stinking dead bodies. This was going to be a very long night for them…

* * *

chiv-id: Okay, so, if you saw the numbers one and two, I'm gonna explain them right now:

1) Yes, I pulled the song from 'Cats Don't Dance', I don't care what you say, that was a classic movie to me. And if you haven't watched it, do it now. Go on youtube and just watch it, I mean it.

2) I really did mean worm men, and yes, I made them addicted to dirt. Dirt is like crack to them, okay?

chiv-id: Everybody understand now? Please review!


	3. Another Freak

chiv-id: Hey, another chapter in like, what, a month or what? Sorry, had a real lack of inspiration...

Hellboy: Let me guess, distracted by the TV again, huh?

chiv-id: ...That obvious?

Liz: Sorry to say, but, yeah.

chiv-id: ...I do not own Hellboy, only Phi'Nadell, go on and read the damn thing!!

* * *

I Hate Psychics

Chapter 2: Another Freak

Phi'Nadell bounded away, morphing into a flying creature this time, a griffin, flying away to the spot where her necklace directed her.

'I wonder who they are exactly,' she thought, 'Next time they see me, perhaps they won't be as eager to use their weapons against me.' She looked at the scene below her, the werewolf tearing into a hapless homeless, devouring the dead man. She morphed back into her elf form and flexed her hand a couple of times, looking at her silver claws. Suddenly, she saw an earring of a blue flame dangling on the ear of the green wolf and she smirked.

"Is that Thrule I see down there?" she asked, the werewolf freezing, "If it is, he should be running from my wrath and justice."

"Oh, my lady," the green-furred werewolf dropped his prey and began scaling the walls, "I had not thought to see you again."

"And I you," she smiled graciously, "Pray tell, what makes you happen upon poor unsuspecting poverty-stricken humans?" He guiltily looked down at the homeless person who was half ripped open from his feast and he licked his blood stained muzzle. Hopping up on the roof top with her, he hugged her, careful not to get the gore on her clothes as he gave a werewolf-ish grin.

"I was hungry, and in this city of man, one does not find suitable prey often," Thrule explained a bit apologetically, "I suppose you ran into the four that I had bitten…"

"Yes, and they are all dead. That is how I knew that the true werewolf was still roaming about, after all, true werewolves that are bred, not bitten, would not revert into a human form," she replied.

"I expected no less," he sighed, running a claw through the green fur, "I had bitten them in defense, I swear! They had silver sticks of death!"

"'Silver sticks of death'…?" she repeated incredulously, "Would these 'sticks of death' happen to have big shiny round parts on their ends?"

"…Yes, you know of them?" he asked in return.

"Did you happen to come to this world where it had green grass, ponds, and sand pools?" she asked and he nodded, Phi'Nadell sighing, "That is what we call in this world a 'golf course', and the 'silver sticks of death' were merely iron clubs which they hit little white 'golf' balls with. The worse they could have done was perhaps given you a bit of a bruise or a concussion…nay, not a concussion, a headache, considering your hard skull." She laughed as she rapped his head, carefully making sure that the silver claws didn't touch him.

"Ah, always the teaser Phi'Nadell," Thrule chuckled.

"Well, because I know you, I'll give you the privilege of a chance," she said, ending his chuckling, "What would make you attack innocent civilians in the underworld?" He shook his head and he motioned for her to take a seat.

"As a fellow assassin, I assume you know that I had not attacked them randomly," he told her and she nodded, "I…I was betrayed by my guild. They had thought to get rid of me after I had killed the targets, but I fooled them all! I escaped here and, well, here I am I suppose."

"Thrule," she said in a strict tone, "What was the rule I have always professed over thee?" He sighed as he tried to remember.

"'A sole assassin's creed is to never ally or kill for greed,'" he repeated, "I know, I know, but, if you hadn't noticed, I was in a rather tight position. You see…oh…wait, you haven't been to the underworld in a while…oh dear…"

"What is it?" she asked, placing a hand on his clawed hand, "Tell me, what has happened in mine world that I love?" He hesitantly placed his other hand on hers and she looked down before looking at his sad face.

"The king is dead, my lady," he whispered to her, "All assassins with ties have fled and are fighting and killing for their food and board, no matter how wrong it is. I am sorry, Phi…"

"…The king…is dead?" her heart stopped for a minute, shock running throughout her system like cold water. At first, she was numbed, then her body felt like fire as she began hyperventilating.

"No, the king, he can't, no," she began, Thrule hugging her, "Thrule, no, no please, you must be, it can't, no! Oh Gods, Thrule, please! Tell me you are lying!! Please, please tell me you jest, please! Oh Gods, no!!" She began crying, her cold assassin demeanor melting at the realization that her foster father was dead.

"My dear lady, my teacher, my friend," Thrule said in a comforting voice, "I am sorry, truly I am, I wish that Nuava had never been born! They had murdered the whole of the king's elite guards, and we assassins…we…we never had a chance to hide him or take him away…" She sobbed in his arms, grasping at her past student's green fur. He began licking her cheek in an effort just to calm her down, getting the blood on her ebony cheek. Then, another idea crossed her mind and she began to panic.

"Thrule, Nuala, oh, Thrule, tell me she's-she's all right, don't tell me she's-"

"Princess Nuala is safe, Nuava didn't touch her in the slightest," he assured her, Phi'Nadell finally calming down as she cried tears of relief. Neutralized by grief of the king's death and happiness at Nuala's survival, she quieted down considerably and just silently cried in Thrule's arms. The green werewolf stroked her hair and held her close, comforting his past teacher.

"Thrule," she suddenly realized, drying her eyes, "We must retreat from here, somewhere safe."

"And you know of such a place?" he asked, letting her pull away from him.

"Of course," she smirked with the tears shining on her face, "An accomplished assassin will always have a safe retreat where they may rest without interruption. Come, oh, and you may want to perhaps conform into a better form. After all, how many green werewolves wander around here do you suppose?"

"I wouldn't know it myself," he said after thinking about it seriously. Phi'Nadell quickly morphed into her disguise, Mera Gibbons, blonde and green-eyed, Thrule raised a brow in turn.

"Hm," he said, "Well, I would not guess it was you, but only because it doesn't fit well within mine eyes."

"Oh? And what is your alternate human world form then? Show me," she demanded, crossing her arms, "Come now, I've shown you mine, what will be yours?" Thrule seemed hesitant and rubbed the back of his head, his claws scratching the scraggly fur as he thought. Finally, he seemed to get an idea and he got down on all fours, shrinking slightly to the size of a normal dog.

"How's this?" he asked, looking somewhat like a husky, or a timber wolf better yet. However, the green fur stood out greatly and she sighed.

"Thrule, there are very few creatures that are green here," she told him, kneeling to look him in the eyes, "And dogs are not one of them. Unless you can change into a frog or a toad, you will have to dye your hair."

"'Die'? I don't want my hair to die!" he yowled, shrinking away.

"No, not 'die', dye. Like our clothes," she gestured to her own, "Tell me Thrule, what color do you wish to be? Brown, black, white, a little of all three, what will you have? I doubt you'll like yellow or grey." Thrule gave a visible scowl as he sat on his back legs and crossed his forelegs, something that looked really odd.

"I prefer green if you don't mind," he protested, nose turned upward, "Why can't you just accept me as green?"

"It is not me, it is them," she explained tiredly, "If they see you any color differently than a normal dog, suspicions will arise and…"

"Yes, yes, assassins must always be stealthy," he grumbled, going back to four paws, "If I must, I choose white and black, I've always admired them. Now, may we go to your 'haven'? It has been quite a troublesome night."

"Yes, come along Thrule," she smiled, jumping across the buildings back to her apartment, Thrule following. Like her, he followed in shadows and they made it back without any fuss. He looked around the spacious apartment, which was pretty fancy since her pay check was pretty substantial because she rarely bought anything. The only things she did buy were a TV, a computer, cell phone, and a few extra pieces of furniture. Thrule transformed back into his werewolf-ish self and sniffed, smelling lilies, orchids, and other assortments of flowers. She always had a thing for flowers for some reason.

"Come, I believe that I might have something if you are still hungry," she called to him, taking off her cloak, scarf, and the armor on her shoulder so that she was only clad in her wife beater, bikini, boots, and gloves. Thrule had always liked Phi'Nadell, even when he was her student, but he respected her and never chose to reveal his small affectionate feelings towards her.

"Here, this is called a steak," she told him, a huge raw chunk of meat that had him salivating all over her counter, "And do not worry about eating me out of house and home, I have enough human money to feed five werewolves. After all, magical fugitives often take human possessions as well. When I return them, they give me money in return." She smiled as she remembered the time when a small parakeet was stolen from a rich person's home, being ransomed by a flat-faced Ogrudan, another magical creature, and she was the one who had killed him because he had in fact killed several other people in the magical underworld. Returning the small bird to the owner, she had received nearly 800 which was certainly a large sum for just a pet. However, she discovered that the parakeet was in fact a rare breed, exceedingly rare, its pink, green, yellow, white, and blue coloration specifically bred to be distinct and unique looking. Shrugging as she left her memories, she looked at Thrule who was tearing into the steak with relish and was licking his jaws after every small bite.

"Slowly you eat this, but with a human you devour it as if the devil were on your tail!" she exclaimed in humor.

"The faster you eat your meal, the less flavor you can taste," the werewolf replied, "I'd rather not taste the dirt on that human, but this…this is marvelous!" He took a lick before taking another bite, making her raise an eyebrow.

"All right, I am going to my room for a moment, if someone knocks at the door, hide yourself," she instructed him, Thrule giving a nod of his head before lapping up some of the blood that spilt from the package of the meat. Meanwhile, in the alley, Hellboy, Abe, Liz, and the FBI agents had finally found the hobo that got attacked.

"Well, guess this has to be the guy that screamed…jeez, thought it was girl at first…" Hellboy said, Abe looking at the corpse then walking away to ponder on 'Sammael', Hellboy looking at him knowingly, "Abe, hey, you sure that wasn't Stinky?"

"Yes, I told you, that wasn't really Sammael," he replied, "After all, how many have you seen that have not attacked or killed people?"

"None, but it could've been a trick to get us on his side," he retorted.

"Hey guys," Liz spoke up, the demon and the fish man looking to her, "You might wanna look at this." They walked over to her, stepping over the half-eaten corpse and looked at the brick wall before the fire user. It had deep gouges in it, left by Thrule as he had scaled the walls.

"I'm thinking…werewolf," she declared, Abe trying to reach for it. He motioned for Hellboy to come over and told him to give him a boost.

"Hey, get one of the other guys to do it, I'm not touchin' your feet," Hellboy refused, but Abe sighed and climbed on his back instead, "Hey, hey, watch the leather! Ah jeez, great, fish and century-old eggs, ain't that a good smell ta have on my jacket?"

"Oh quit whining, big baby," Abe scolded, pressing an ungloved hand on the gouges. He gasped for a moment before looking down on Hellboy and Liz.

"Liz, hold Hellboy's hand, watch this," he told them, Liz doing as he said, Abe taking them backwards to watch the scene. There, they saw a green werewolf dropping his victim and yelling 'my lady' as it scaled the walls, finally reaching a cloaked figure, who's face they could not see as the green werewolf climbed over and joined them on the roof top.

"Well, that ain't something you see every day," Hellboy muttered, "Either that thing actually talked or my hearing's off…did it really talk?"

"I don't know, did you see who it was talking to?" asked Liz, Hellboy shrugging and making Abe precariously wobble on his shoulders.

"If you could hold still, perhaps I could get down without falling off?" Abe suggested, climbing off of Hellboy with Liz's help.

"All right, so we know we got a…um…I never really seen a green werewolf before, is that natural?" asked Liz, Hellboy shrugging but Abe shook his head.

"We only have that the werewolf is possibly connected to a woman, but who?"

"That's what we wanna know," Hellboy said, wincing as he touched his bandaged chest, "Unfortunately, I don't think I could handle any more roughhousin' with the werewolves, so how 'bout we investigate this tomorrow?" Abe nodded in consent, Liz taking her previous position with his arm around her shoulders so that she could help him back to the garbage truck. Abe looked at the gouge marks and remembered his vision, the tall imposing figure on the roof standing with her hands on her hips. He wondered who that was really, perhaps the mistress of the werewolf?

'If she truly is the one controlling the werewolf, what are her reasons for these attacks?' he thought to himself, walking back to the garbage truck. Going back to the apartment…

"Thrule? Thrule, where are you?" she searched for her werewolf accomplice and found him sitting on the couch, trying to find a way to change the channels on the TV. She was currently dressed in a black turtleneck, blue jeans, and grey-tipped socks. Phi'Nadell was also black-skinned and white-haired at the moment, her amber eyes shining brightly as she laughed when he pressed the off button and he growled in frustration.

"Here give me that," she scolded, turning it back on, "Now, what do you want to watch?" He cocked his head as she scrolled through the channels, finally stopping her on 'Van Helsing'.

"Yes, and the werewolf does best the vampire!" he roared in victory, standing up straight with his hands in the air as he saw Van Helsing as the black werewolf inject werewolf venom into Dracula's neck and kill him, "This 'TV' is wonderful, show me more." She could only laugh as she showed him how to work the remote, the werewolf oddly clutching the small boxy electronic device in his large and cumbersome claws.

"Wait, how do I look for more of this…'Van Helsing'?" he asked, his eyes turning puppyish as he pleaded.

"Well, the channel guide says nothing of Van Helsing until next week," she said, looking at the channel guide magazine, "Of course, there is another way…"

"Oh, if we could watch it from the beginning!" he pleaded, "Tell me!"

"We would have to rent the movie…perhaps I should begin buying DVDs, to avoid these situations with you. I am sure you'd watch this movie until you die," she chuckled, Thrule nodding quickly, "All right, stay here, I'll go and buy it. Oh, and I'll buy some hair dye while I'm gone, two birds with one stone as the humans say…" She grabbed her tan trench coat and walked out the door, grabbing her keys.

"Remember, keep the volume and your voice down," she told him, "I do not want to have others thinking I've a lover in this apartment, do you understand? And if anyone knocks, _hide_ ." He nodded, flipping through the channels until he found a cartoon about a werewolf and chipmunks.

"Sometimes I wonder if you truly are my student," she sighed as he gave a wolfish grin as the werewolf bit the chipmunk called Theodore, "A werewolf assassin with an obsession with human TV…oh, and are you still hungry?" He shook his head, but she decided to grab some steaks on her way back anyway. She closed the door and put her jacket on, flipping her hair after she locked the door. Phi'Nadell wondered if having Thrule as her 'roomie' would be a good thing or a bad thing. She shook her head as she went to the video store, grabbing a Van Helsing DVD off of a shelf and paying for it. As she exited, however, she had a strange feeling like she was being watched, putting her on guard. After all, it's better to be safe than sorry.

"Oh, sorry sir," she said after bumping into a man.

"Not at all," the man chuckled, "Oh, you dropped something." The man kindly bent down and picked up a dollar. Phi'Nadell smiled as she took the dollar, but she knew something was wrong. After all, people around here would rather pocket than return, so she began to walk away immediately after receiving the money. The figure behind her continued to stare at her and gave an eerie smile, Phi'Nadell feeling the hair on the back of her neck prickle at the gesture. Her senses were sharp, almost as if she had a sixth sense, and began to suspect the man as he walked out of the video store and continued to follow her. Walking into the grocery store, the man disappeared again, but she had no doubt that he was waiting for her outside. Paying for the black and white (to the cashier's surprise) hair dye and the several packages of steaks, ribs, and other meaty products that made the cashier's eyes go wide.

"Uh…havin' a barbecue?" he asked.

"More like a welcome party," she replied with a secret smile. He stared for a moment before racking up all the items, glancing at her and blushing when she gave him another smile. Gathering up her things, she walked out the door and again noticed the man leaning against the wall of the grocer's a little ways from the doors and followed as soon as she exited. Phi'Nadell could only shake her head at the stupidity of the man.

"Excuse me," she said, turning around, right in front of the grocer's store and its people, "Who are you?" He stopped and had one hand in his pockets. He grinned and walked forward, suddenly whipping out his arm and grasping her waist, making them look like a couple. The older man was at least 42, opening his jacket to reveal a gun in his concealed hand. She masked her scoffing with a small noise of fear, the man smiling again.

"Come with me if you want to live," he whispered to her, guiding her past the store and into a dark alley near it. The man removed the hat he had on and then his jacket, looking around to make sure the coast was clear, then pushed her further into the alley until she was right at the end of it. He had a perverted smile as he looked her up and down, Phi'Nadell wanting to rip his teeth out. The man held up the gun and grabbed her turtleneck, pulling him towards her in a kiss. She growled against his mouth and, with lightning fast reflexes, grabbed the gun and pointed it away from her, kneeing him in the groin as soon as she did. He went down in pain, obviously surprised that his target had not complied so easily. However, he pointed the gun at her again as he used the hand he wasn't using to cup his abused member to wrap around her legs, dragging her down.

"Oh, not the wisest moves, sweetheart," he said, "You gonna be payin' for that." He pushed her arms behind her back, and used his body to pin hers down and restrain her arms. When an elderly couple passed by and she could not sense any more civilians passing the dark alley way, she sighed in relief and morphed into Sammael the Desolate One again, her now almost favorite form, and merely used her jaws to sever the arm with gun away from his body. He screamed, but she silenced him quickly, next using her maw to break his neck. Snorting, she grabbed her groceries and things, then, on second thought, began to rip the body into shreds, stripping the meat from his bones and eating them. A gruesome task, she finished with a belch, nodding to herself because now there'd be less evidence of her kill.

'Ah, well, I saved probably ten girls from being ravished by this man in the future,' she thought, justifying her actions, 'Now, the bones…hm, what to do with them.' She picked up the bones and threw them in a green garbage can.

'The garbage trucks will come in the morning, so that takes care of that,' she thought, again picking up her things and transforming into a chimera, another flying beast. Using her multiple heads to hold the dye, meat, and movie, she flew off and returned to her apartment, morphing back into a human as she landed on the roof. She went through the door that led to the lower levels of the building and she found herself at her door once more, only 20 minutes had passed since her departure.

'I just hope Thrule hasn't caused any trouble while I was gone,' she thought, opening the door. She walked through and what she saw made her drop all of her things, a gasp passing her lips at the sight, then a scream.

* * *

chiv-id: Cliffy! I think it's been a while since I did a cliffy. Anyway, hope you liked that chappie!

Hellboy: Hold up, we still ain't done talkin' 'bout your TV addiction.

chiv-id: Hick-e? What TV addiction (laughs nervously) heheheh no TV addiction here! Okay, please review...hurry before they do an intervention! GAH!!


	4. Scratching Backs

chiv-id: Okay, first update in who knows how long...

Hellboy: Hell of a long time, how's that?

Abe: I believe it's actually exactly-

Hellboy: Hey, no one's supposed to know, so don't say anythin' Abe.

chiv-id: Mhm...here's the third chapter of 'I Hate Psychics'!

* * *

I Hate Psychics

Chapter 3: Scratching Backs

Blood stained almost every inch of the apartment, two werewolves circling each other in the middle, both wounded badly, neither giving in. One was Thrule, his blue-flame earring dangling off of a nearly torn ear. The other was an orange and black werewolf, a black band with a strange insignia stained with blood on his right foreleg. The black werewolf finally lunged forward and Thrule met him, their jaws meeting in a bloody clash as blood spilled from their gums. Claws raked patches of green, black, and orange fur, vicious barking heard from both combatants. Finally, Thrule toppled and the black werewolf came in for the kill.

"Thrule!" she screamed, running forward and morphing into Sammael. She jumped over Thrule's prone body and smashed into the other werewolf, her teeth firmly clasped on his jugular and ripped it out, spraying blood all over her. She continued to rip into his neck until the thick muscles were all gone and his head was completely separated from his body. The black werewolf's body twitched, the decapitation so swift, he was still technically alive. Since the body didn't retract into a different form, she assumed it was a true-blood werewolf, from the underworld.

"Oh Thrule," Phi'Nadell whimpered, transforming back into her natural appearance, a black hand resting on a broken green foreleg, "Thrule answer me!" He gave small whines in pain as he turned to look at her and she nearly broke out crying at his face, part of his upper lip totally torn off, one long scratch over his eye, the ear with the earring nearly ripped off, and worse, his eyes seemed to be bleeding as he looked at her sadly in pain. She gently hugged him, tears forming.

"Wait here, I will fetch the healing supplies," she told him, wiping her eyes as she acted quickly, darting from the kitchen back to the bloodied living room. Slipping on the blood, she crashed next to him, now she too was drenched in the werewolves' blood.

"Oh, how did this happen?" she mourned slightly, "I left for a brief 20 minutes and here you are, wounded nearly to death! I am sorry Thrule…I should have stayed…" He whimpered in sympathy, licking her hand as she gently rubbed his muzzle. She brought out a special potion that healed wounds quickly, but burned intensely. When Phi'Nadell brought the bottle within his eye sight, he again whimpered.

"I'm sorry, but any more blood loss…" she left it at that as she took a towel and poured a bit of the molasses like stuff on it. He turned his head away as she placed it on his flank, hissing and howling softly, whines making her heart nearly break. Noticeably, the skin under the towel seemed to bubble slightly, and when she pulled it off, all traces of the wound were gone, save for the slight patches of fur missing from the sight. She looked at the bottle and panicked as she realized that she didn't have enough to cure every wound he had. Feeling practically helpless, Phi'Nadell felt the smartest choice to be to heal the most serious and attend to the others with human medicine.

"Thrule, I'm only going to put the Fyerdrix on your chest and your neck, be patient and strong, it will be over soon," she whispered to him, stroking the fur on his face. He nodded weakly, closing his eyes as she administered the last of it and only growled slightly in pain as he felt too exhausted and weak to create anymore noise. Quickly, she grabbed the bandages from a medical kit that hung on the wall next to the light switch, quickly bandaging the rest of him, splinting the broken forearm.

"Oh Gods, please, spare Thrule," she prayed as she sat near his body, already deep in sleep, "What am I to do…?" Phi'Nadell suddenly felt her necklace become warm and she moaned. Looking into the alls-mirror, she saw a white-skinned goblin jump through a portal, throwing a bag full of elven money up, then down, a smirk prominently displayed on his face. However, thinking that she was to dismiss it, letting the goblin go rather then hunt it down, she spied a large red stone hand pick it up by the chain mail shirt. She widened the view and she was surprised to see the red man, bandages covering every inch of his torso, but still alive. An idea sprang into her mind, and she thanked the gods fervently.

"Those people…they…they can help…" she said out loud, wiping away her tears. She gently shook the terribly weak werewolf.

"Thrule, Thrule, come, climb onto my back," she told him gently, helping the werewolf onto her back, "We need help, better then my care." She morphed into Sammael and Phi'Nadell only hoped that they'd help her instead of shoot both of them. She climbed out of her window, careful and mindful of her injured friend, and quickly jumped across roof tops to the designation. When she reached it, she saw that the goblin had been dealt with swiftly and now the red man simply pocketed the coins and dragged the dead body to a garbage truck and the rest of his group. Looking down, her claws making loud clicking noises that made her cringe as she walked down the fire escape. The red man looked behind him and instantly pulled out his gun, though she saw him wince as a bit of red began to seep through the bandages.

"You again," he said, "You comin' back to finish me?" She jumped down the last flight of stairs and walked towards him, the gun not moving an inch away from her face. All she did was look at him, continuing to walk up to him.

"Abe, it's back," 'Red' said. Suddenly, he noticed the green werewolf sprawled across her back and instead pointed the gun at the werewolf. She immediately shrieked, moving away from the gun, startling him.

"Red, put it down," Abe whispered, "Let me try and communicate with it." He revealed his strange hand again, Phi'Nadell warily approaching the psychic. She still hated them, but she had no choice now. 'Red' put the gun down, Liz approaching from behind, a blue flame surrounding her hand in warning. Phi'Nadell slowly went to Abe, her nose tentatively touching the blue man's hand.

'Please, help us,' she pleaded, a small whine ushered from her throat that made 'Red' and Liz look in surprise at her, 'He is hurt, please.'

'Who are you?'

'Please, if you agree to help him, I will give you my name and his! Just, please, help him, he is dying!!' Her last desperate thought coupled with her raw emotion nearly sent Abe backpedaling, but he nodded and guided her between Hellboy and Liz to the garbage truck, the FBI agents extremely nervous with the dangerous beast. She looked around the inside of it, a bit amazed, but she quickly pandered over to Abe who had a cot laid out. Gently laying Thrule down on it, Abe ran a hand over him, barely touching him.

"If we can get him back to our place, he will be all right, now tell me, who are you?" Abe asked her, Hellboy and Liz climbing in.

'You first,' she thought to him, 'I would feel more comfortable, and so will he when he wakes up.'

"I am Abraham Sapien, or Abe," he began, "The red one is Hellboy, and this young lady here is Elizabeth Sherman, or Liz." She nodded, the tentacles rising and falling on her head in thought. She had barred her mind from him already, thinking on whether it'd be better to tell her disguise's name or her true name. Finally deciding, she morphed back into her true form, ebony skin, piercing amber eyes, tipped ears, and flowing white hair. She looked to Abe, who was astounded, and she smiled softly.

"My name is Phi'Nadell," she said, her melodious voice echoing through out the truck, "And this is Thrule, my student. Now, will you help him or not?" Abe nodded and began hooking him up to machines, administering certain medicines, etc. and she only watched as he did so, careful monitoring the green werewolf.

"So, where'd you come from?" asked Liz, trying to strike a conversation.

"Where he came from," she answered, not giving an inch on her past.

"…Well, where did _he_ come from?" Hellboy asked, Phi'Nadell raising a brow at him, "What? You're not exactly helping us out here…"

"All you need to know is that I am only here because Thrule needed medical attention, and I could not tend to him with what I had," she spoke softly, putting an ebony hand on the werewolf's chest, "He is a most dear friend to me, wouldn't you do the same if she were hurt, Hellboy?" The red demon stiffened as he looked to Liz and agreed a bit grudgingly. She didn't say anything more, but Liz noticed something strange, a bit of an indentation in her left hand.

"Phi'Nadell, what are these?" she asked, her hand reaching out and grasping the shape shifter's left wrist, pulling back the black material to reveal the markings, "…Did you do all these yourself?"

"Yes," she sighed, pulling the sleeve up farther to reveal the strange markings, "Do not worry, they were willingly, an initiation if you will." She left it at that as she rolled the sleeve back down, putting a hand on the green werewolf's chest as he seemed to awaken slightly with the help Abe was already providing.

"Where…my lady, where are we?" he asked groggily, trying to get up.

"Hush, do not move Thrule," she ordered softly, "You are being tended to as we speak and you'd do well to rest in their company." He nodded, getting her hint and barring his thoughts, the bubbles in Abe's respirator bursting out slightly as he breathed.

"You have nothing to fear," Abe said to her after a small pause, "I would not read your thoughts if you do not wish for them to be read."

"Mr. Sapien," she addressed, looking directly into his deep black and large eyes with her small piercing amber ones, "Where I come from, the mind is one of the most valued treasures one could possibly have. The fact that one, such as yourself, a…psychic…can invade one's mind at will and flip through it as if reading a book does not comfort me in the least, despite your good intentions. So, it is not you, but merely a small precaution that me and my friend here have grown to use and use quite often." Abe blinked for a moment in thought, then nodded.

"Of course," he inclined, "Just so you know, I cannot easily read minds or such with my gloves on." Abe lifted up his hand, the black leather material gleaming a bit in the light of the fake garbage truck. As Phi'Nadell was about to open her mouth to say that she still didn't feel comfortable, the back of the garbage truck closed, trapping her and Thrule inside. She stiffened, Thrule following suit as he let a small growl pass his torn lips.

"Do not worry," Abe assured them, "We are just going to our…home, if you will. More so than some of us." Phi'Nadell held her tensed pose for a moment longer before relaxing, calming her more easily excited friend with a hand on his flank. The ride was a bit of a long one, silence making it seem all the more longer.

"Hey, Phi'Nadell," Liz spoke up, "What exactly happened to Thrule anyway?"

"…I'm not sure myself," she replied in a sad way, "I had taken Thrule to my retreat and left him there for a few errands. I had gone out for only a short while, and on coming back…I found him and another werewolf fighting."

"Another werewolf?" Hellboy said, "Ugh, don't really feel like dealing with another one…"

"I killed him already," Phi'Nadell waved her head dismissively, "After, I had begun to treat some of his more serious wounds, but when I found that I needed to keep him in more extensive care…I remembered you."

"Us?" Hellboy scoffed, "Right, just because we're freaks doesn't mean we'll go easy on this guy…in fact, I'm thinking about poppin' a few into him right now."

"Don't mind him," Abe reprimanded, "He's still having a few anger issues about being so roughly handled, that's all."

"'Roughly handled'? You call this 'roughly handled'?" Hellboy said incredulously, gesturing the red bloom of blood on his bandages, "I seriously think you need to expand your vocabulary, Abe, because this is more like mauled, maimed, anything that can mean 'painful'!"

"Honestly, I share his opinion on some werewolves," Phi'Nadell offered, calming the red man down as he looked at her in surprise, "Most bitten werewolves are very savage, especially very recently bitten werewolves. They had not trained and tamed their wild sides yet, and so they become nothing more than feral beasts. However, true blood werewolves are considered some of the most civil, if not a bit rowdy, of creatures where we come from, since they've been raised from birth to control their animalistic desires. Thrule here is practically still a teenager, but as you can see, he can talk and has developed more…sentient attributes and characteristics."

"That still doesn't explain why he got attacked," Liz pushed, Phi'Nadell turning back to the flame wielder.

"Thrule has only gotten himself in some trouble, but now, I am beginning to believe that this may be more than just 'some trouble'," she suspected, Thrule finally asleep, "I only hope that I can protect him from further harm…"

"If it is safety and protection you want, we can provide that for him," Abe offered, "After all, we freaks have to stick together, right?"

"I am not a freak," she muttered in a low voice, "And neither is he."

"What I meant to say," he sighed, "Was that people who are like us, people who the world would reject must band together because, in reality, all we have is each other." Phi'Nadell looked at him curiously, curling a small lock of her white hair around her finger as she contemplated his words.

"Thank you for your offer," she said, "But I still believe that it would be best if Thrule and I were on our own. If we happen to be caught in the same predicament again, perhaps I'll reconsider, but until then…" Abe nodded, understanding her decision.

"We're here," Hellboy announced, Phi'Nadell looking towards the back of the garbage truck in expectance, "C'mon, gotta get 'Thrule' out and in the med bay."

"Uh, Hellboy," a brown-haired agent said, coming inside, "What's this about a green werewolf and we're helping it?"

"Oh, right, this is Agent John T. Myers," Abe introduced, Myers looking at Phi'Nadell, "And this is Phi'Nadell. She's a good friend of Thrule the werewolf and we're going to help them." Myers' eyes were a bit wide as he stared at Phi'Nadell.

"Uh, hi, like he said, I'm Myers," he said a bit nervously to her, holding out his hand, "And your name is Phi'Nadell…"

"Yes, a pleasure to meet you Agent Myers," she replied graciously, placing her hand on top of his. He grabbed her hand a bit hesitantly and turned it over so that he could shake it normally, her features contorting into a slight frown at the jolting sensation.

"…You have the manners of a noblewoman," Abe observed, Phi'Nadell looking back at him.

"Yes, I've studied etiquette," she admitted formally, "Is this truly where you reside?" Phi'Nadell stepped out of the back of the garbage truck, looking at the little grey building. She looked behind her, seeing Thrule being wheeled out and she quickly followed, although she was stopped after a few feet into the building. As she began to protest, Abe touched her arm with a gloved hand, to which she recoiled.

"Please stay here, we have to inform Manning of-"

"What is that _thing_ doing here?!" a voice boomed, causing her to glare. A bald man in a business suit walked up to the small troop of Hellboy, Liz, Abe, and Phi'Nadell, his face angry-looking.

"Is that the werewolf? And if it is, _why_ are we giving it medical treatment?" he demanded, looking directly at Hellboy.

"Hey, it's not mine," he shrugged, jerking a thumb at Phi'Nadell, "It's hers. Name's Phi'Nadell, she's the Sammael we saw in the park earlier."

"A…a…" Manning was having trouble with what to call her.

"Shape shifter?" Abe put in, Manning nodding in thanks.

"Shape shifter," he continued a bit skeptically, "You sure? Doesn't look like much." She bristled a bit at the comment, but kept her cool. Strolling up to him, she grabbed his hand, to which he jumped back in surprise.

"Hey! Whaddya think you're doing?" he asked angrily. Quickly, she morphed into Manning instead, the exact same shiny bald head, pressed business suit, and customary frown.

"Whaddya think _you're_ doing?!" she yelled back in his voice, the same trademark throbbing vein on his forehead pulsing angrily. Then, she calmed down and looked at him with a smirk, Manning's mouth open and gaping.

"So, through touch, you can mimic others," Abe again observed, the Manning copy turning to look at him. She morphed back into her form and walked back over next to him, but she turned and placed a hand on his head, the only uncovered part of his body. Absorbing the DNA, Phi'Nadell quickly morphed into Abe this time and looked at him.

"Was that really necessary?" they both said at the same time, the real Abe looking a bit surprised, and again they both said, "How is it you are copying me so perfectly?" She gave a small secret smile and morphed back into her black-skinned self.

"Magic," she replied with her signature secret smile. She flipped her hair, but upon hearing Thrule's panicked yipe, she ran past Manning and the rest of the agents, shape shifting into a cheetah. Several yells were heard as well as a screeching yowl as she bounded into the room where Thrule had been admitted into.

"Oh dear," Abe said and all of them jogged over, a bit surprised to see the green werewolf up and about with such jagged wounds. Phi'Nadell, still a cheetah, was trying to calm him down, but at the same time dodging several gun shots from the agents. Unable to transform while running, she continued to bounce around, avoiding the guns and Thrule's panicked frenzy as he began snapping his maw at anything that moved. Abe stepped into the room, pulling off his glove and shoving it before Thrule's face.

'_CALM DOWN!!_' he mentally boomed, Thrule nearly crippling under the telekinetic force of the message. The agents stopped firing and Phi'Nadell fell back to the floor with grace, panting slightly as she padded over to Thrule's side. After looking him over and giving him a comforting purr, she transformed back into her normal self and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Thrule…" she whispered, his face turning to hers, "Oh Thrule, what have you gotten yourself into?" He didn't say anything, the blue flame earring dangling ever so precariously on that shred of ear, instead turned to her and buried his head into her chest like a child. Needless to say, she was quite surprised, falling on her backside as he did so.

"It's not just a little trouble…is it?" she asked, putting a hand on his head.

"Phi'Nadell…remember what I had told you in the alley?" he asked, looking up at her.

"…Yes," she replied.

"That was not the truth…"

"What? You lied to me?"

"I'm sorry, truly I am, but it was the only thing I could think of to help you become more persistent in coming back."

"I already wanted to come back-"

"No, you see, Nuala cannot reverse the banishing spell she put on you those few years ago, so you need to find a way to come back on your own. And…with my help, we've discovered Nuada's true plans. That werewolf was after me because I was the only other creature to know…he has been chasing me all over our realm and finally I escaped here, but…"

"He still found you and this time you could not run away…" Phi'Nadell finished, patting his head, "Oh Thrule, why did you not tell me this earlier?"

"Because I did not want you to worry about me…and, besides, I suppose we would have gotten into more trouble if you had tried to hunt for the werewolf yourself," Thrule finally released her waist and stood up, though a little shaky, "But now that he is dead, he can no longer report to Nuada…which means that more will come."

"And we shall be ready," Phi'Nadell assured him, "But you need rest, Thrule. Any more strenuous activity and I will no longer have an able-bodied companion to aid me in this quest. So sleep Thrule, sleep, and stay your passion, you will be able to exercise it when we hunt down Nuada's fools." Thrule nodded and laid back on the table, exhausted, and immediately fell asleep.

"So…who's this Nuada guy?" asked Hellboy, making Phi'Nadell jump as she felt the others present in the room again.

"As said before, none of your concern," she replied, but she turned away from Thrule's side and straightened her turtleneck, "Luckily, Thrule's true blood werewolf heritage will allow him to regenerate quickly. He may only have to stay here the night, so, if I may, I would like to stay here with him." Manning, who was present outside of the room, stepped in and looked her straight in the eye.

"I don't think we have any more rooms, so-"

"Well…there is one, but…Hellboy?" Abe spoke up, looking directly at the red demon, "You know which one I'm talking about. It's your choice." Hellboy stiffened, his tail curling up as well as his mouth forming an indomitable frown.

"No way," he replied, placing the cigar back into his mouth.

"Hellboy," Liz sighed as she placed a hand on his arm, "She can't stay here in this little room, especially with a huge werewolf taking up half the space. Let her use it. I'm sure your father would have." Liz looked Hellboy in the eye and he sighed in return.

"Whatever…but don't think she can use it again," Hellboy grumbled, shrugging Liz's hand off, "You…mess anything up in that room, and I'll guarantee you ain't gonna be welcome back." Hellboy walked away, grumbling to himself.

"Which room?" Phi'Nadell asked, "It seems to make Hellboy rather aggravated, if I do say so myself."

"It's his father's old room and study," Liz replied sighing, "Don't worry about it being messy or anything, it's been kept in the same state as when…"

"…Oh…" Phi'Nadell could appreciate the feeling Hellboy was experiencing at the moment, her whole world had come crashing down when Thrule had told her the fake lie that her foster father had died, "Well, I'll be careful not to disturb anything."

"Yeah, and one more thing," Liz said, smiling, "Abe's gonna be your room mate, if that's okay with you?" Phi'Nadell jerked, her eyes wide with surprise, then they fell as she looked at Abe.

"You must be joking," she said in a low voice, but Abe shook his head.

"No, it's true," he verified, "My tank was installed into his study, so that I could read his books. Unless…you are uncomfortable with that?" At the risk of being kicked out or angering the red monkey and the flame wielder by being insulting to the fish psychic, she shook her head and replied that it was all right.

"I was just a little surprised that I would put in the quarters with a male, that's all," she smiled, "So, I suppose the question in return would be whether _you_ would be all right Mr. Sapien?" Abe was a little taken aback by her question, Phi'Nadell putting her hands on her hips and raising an eye brow.

"Not at all," he conceded, "Come, I'll show you there myself." She was still a little nervous around him, so she shook her head.

"I'm sorry, but I'd like to stay with Miss Sherman and Thrule here for a moment," she politely rejected, "Miss Sherman, I would like to ask you a few things actually, seeing as how we have a common element after all." Liz chuckled in response and nodded, and they began to verse amongst themselves, leaving Abe to travel back to his tank alone for a quick hydrating dive.

"You really don't like Abe do you?" Liz guessed, smiling as Phi'Nadell sighed and shook her head.

"I hate psychics…" Phi'Nadell replied.

"I hate the mess in Hellboy's room," Liz challenged.

"I hate dust," Phi'Nadell returned. Back and forth, they were almost like childhood friends, gabbing for almost two hours until it was finally time for bed.

"Good night Miss Sherman," Phi'Nadell bowed a little, "May you have pleasant dreams and a long life."

"First off," Liz laughed, "You don't have to be so formal. And what's with the long life stuff?"

"Oh…my job is quite dangerous, so that is a customary good night tiding."

"Okay, well, you, too, then." With that, they departed, Liz dreading the mess in Hellboy's room that she would have to sleep in, and Phi'Nadell dreading the room that she would have to share with a psychic.

* * *

chiv-id: Ooohhh, Phi'Nadell's roomin' with Abe, what's gonna happen?

Phi'Nadell: Nothing will happen! Nothing, I tell you, nothing!

Abe: (blushing) ...

chiv-id: Hey, who's writing the story here?

Phi'Nadell: I despise you.

chiv-id: Hey, you're hurting Abe's feelings.

Phi'Nadell: (contemplates)...

chiv-id: Yup, so go kiss and make-up!

Abe: (now red as Hellboy) ...

Thrule: If Abe does not want it...

chiv-id: Hey! You're supposed to be wounded and almost dead! Now lie down! Down, boy, down!

Thrule: (lays back obediently)

chiv-id: Trained my ass. Anyway, please review! I know the first chapter was super long, so I'm trying to cut down. Thanks for reading, y'all!


	5. Night in the Study

chiv-id: Oh my God, how long has it been since I updated this thing?!

Hellboy: (smoking cigar and leaning against wall) 'Bout a month...

chiv-id: You know I don't like smoking in my house, dude.

Hellboy: Don't call me 'dude'.

chiv-id: Okay, it's super late, my brain is half-dead, and I feel like my fingers are going to fall off. I hope you like this, enjoy!

Hellboy: (smirks) Too tired to do disclaimer?

chiv-id: (gives glare of death) Don't toy with me, I can make you wear a tutu.

Hellboy: (backs off)

chiv-id: Anyway, here ya go! 'I Hate Psychics', chapter 4: "Night in the Study"

* * *

I Hate Psychics

Chapter 4: Night in the Study

Phi'Nadell wandered around a bit before she finally asked someone where the room was exactly, finding that it was only a little ways from where she was in the first place. When she reached the study of the late Professor Broom, she felt his own eminence, the very respect that everyone had paid tribute to him reeking from every single particle in it. Phi'Nadell saw a small statue of him sitting in a chair with a book next to a desk, the golden name plate shining with the words, 'Professor Trevor "Broom" Bruttenholm – Beloved Friend and Father'. The wispy hair, the kind old eyes peeking over the spectacles, and that wise look upon his face spelled it all: he was the driving force behind the whole of BPRD. Phi'Nadell decided she would have to research more upon this Professor Broom, having an innate feeling to discover more about this profound and great man.

"It is an honor, sir," she said, bowing to his statue in respect.

"I see you have found his statue," a voice said, making her stand up straight in alarm, but turned and found that it was only Abe. He was swimming in his tank, just as he said, which was installed in the wall of the study. Currently, he was wearing only black shorts, the water rippling so that the light that shined down through the water made wavy patterns on his back.

"Indeed," she replied, brushing back a strand of white hair, "He must have been a man of great importance to have a statue of gold made in his honor."

"Professor Broom was a good friend to all of us," Abe confirmed, flipping on his back and swimming around like that, "And Hellboy's foster father. We were all devastated when he died, but none of us more than Hellboy."

"...I'm sure he must have died happy being surrounded by friends," Phi'Nadell commented, looking back at the statue, but when Abe didn't answer, she looked back, "Unless…"

"No, he died by the hands of a horrible man," Abe drifted into an upright position, "His name was Karl Ruprecht Kroenen, an undead assassin who had an obsession with mechanics and was the head of the Thule Occult Society in Germany back during World War II. It was him who had killed Professor Broom, although I had heard that he received a just end from Hellboy." Phi'Nadell's breath seemed to leave her and she felt her insides freeze. An assassin…Hellboy hates assassins…and so does everyone else. How could she tell them her occupation after what she had heard? As long as her job remained a mystery, she was safe, and surrounded by temporary allies instead of grudging ones who would progress into enemies sooner or later.

"Mr. Sapien, may I call you Abe?" she asked, deciding to make friends while she could. He cocked his head, but conceded with a nod.

"Abe," she began awkwardly, almost unable to believe that she was trying to befriend a psychic, "Please, tell me more about Professor Broom. No, not about his death, but his life. After all, if I'm to board here for the night, I might like to learn about the man who lived here as well." She sat on a sofa which rested between the desk and Abe's tank, loosing her hair from her pony tail which she had bound earlier that night.

"Professor Broom was an extraordinary man, he cared for all of BPRD's inhabitants, including the more paranormal," Abe gestured to himself, to which Phi'Nadell couldn't help but smile. The psychic was more charming than she had expected, nor as willing to be informal.

"Such as yourself," she said, playing along, "Of course, there is nothing quite as paranormal as that Manning I should say. Upon meeting him, he was the most ill tempered man I have ever met, and, well, his head looked as though it would pop from pressure! Did Professor Broom truly care for him as well?" Abe smiled at her.

"Yes, but they had their fair share of arguments," he replied, beginning to swim around normally, "The Professor's accomplishments exceeds the amount of years he has lived in fact. He was the first to be in the BPRD, and he has kept this whole operation going even when the government became skeptical themselves. Although, our presence should have been enough, I believe."

"Seems as though you are the only ones who stand between chaos and order in this world," Phi'Nadell smiled a little at this, "Fitting."

"Why do you say that?"

"No, no reason at all. Only that it seems as though you all certainly do have more insight on these situations than others…"

"Are you implying something?"

"Well, do you not know where you came from?" To this Abe was silent, the bubbles from his gills drifting upwards in a lazy motion. Phi'Nadell continued to look through lidded eyes, her lazy look masking her observatory nature. Realizing that perhaps he didn't in fact know, her small smile fell from her face.

"Do you know what you are?" she asked, crossing her hands on her lap in expectance, "Well?"

"I was found in the basement of a hospital," he replied, her tongue finally stilling itself, "With this inscription on my tank." He gestured to the little scrap of paper, 'Icthyo Sapien' it said, fish man.

"So…not a magical being like Hellboy, nor a gifted human like Liz," she thought out loud, "But a scientifically-made man...are you sure?"

"No, but evidence would suggest the latter," Abe sighed, floating around.

"Honestly, I thought you were a merman," she smiled, "But I cannot explain the psychic abilities…unless…"

"Hm?"

"In the olden days, of when I was a child, it was said that mermaids and mermaid did not have beautiful voices with which they could communicate as like today. Rather, they were instead telepaths, beings who used their minds instead of their mouths, supposedly because their gills overlapped those areas."

"I can assure you, I am no merman," Abe chuckled, "See, two feet."

"Yes, but, as the great evolutionary theory suggests, one feature must be sacrificed for another," she replied with gusto, "Think: merpeople could not talk, and need not have talked because man had not existed or at least weren't intelligent beings to the point with which they could have a decent conversation. All they communicated with were the fish, and it was much easier to talk to fish with their minds rather than their mouths which was only used to eat with. Now, because man has evolved so, and were rather skeptical of telepathy, merpeople have developed proper vocal cords and their gills have receded where yours are today." Abe touched his gills in confirmation.

"However, it can be assumed that mermeople had no more danger than a tank full of sea monkeys. They were not harmed or disturbed because of the de-evolved humans, and so they could have the slower, more easily distinguished two legs, like yours," Phi'Nadell continued, "Again, today, humans have begun to prowl the waters, in search of food from the sea, and push the merpeople unwillingly into shark-infested waters or who knows what. So, as a defense mechanism, they've melded their two legs into one, a fin, like their friends of the sea. Do you see my logic now?"

"Yes, and no," Abe said, now extremely interested, "That does not explain why I have the ability to speak and use my telepathy at the same time."

"You could perhaps be a merman caught between the two pools of evolution," she suggested, twisting a lock of white hair around her black fingers, "Perhaps this is how science has played its role, but mixing the two evolutionary pools…and you were the result." Abe became silent, again contemplating.

"How do you know so much about merpeople?" he asked, making her freeze. Phi'Nadell had gotten carried away, and she regretted it.

"Let's just say that I come from a world that is caught between Earth and Hell," she said mysteriously, "Not quite satanic, but not quite human either my friend. That's all I will say for now." She had to insert the 'my friend' part with a bit of difficulty.

"…Of course," he replied, but she strengthened her mental barriers, just in case, "If you don't want me to pry, I won't, but I am intrigued by your words."

"Indeed," she looked up at the clock and found the hour late, "Well, I will bid you ado, Abe. If I'm to be fit and ready in the morning, I'll need my sleep. Good night." Trying to avoid eye contact and the conversation of her own history, Phi'Nadell quickly traveled to the stair case where she found that she was lost…again.

"Excuse me, just another moment," she said a bit embarrassed, "I've no idea where the room is exactly…"

"It was to the left of where you were just sitting a few moments ago," he replied, pointing to the grand oak door.

"…Yes, of course, silly me," she muttered to herself as she darted back down and into the room, "Blasted psychic…" Phi'Nadell sank against the door in relief and exhaustion, but then realized that she had nothing to sleep in except the blood stained clothes…which also reminded her she needed a bath…

"Sorry, one more thing," she said popping her head through the door, Abe waiting expectantly which made her cheeks turn a bit red, "The bathroom is…?"

"Waiting for you between the book shelves labeled 'A through C' and 'D through F'," he smiled at her, "I did happen to glimpse your dilemma." She frowned at that and strengthened her mental barriers again.

"It has nothing to do with your thoughts," Abe returned, "It's your emotions. I can feel them, and despite your 'barriers', I don't think you can barricade your emotions." She sighed and closed the door, and managed to hurl an enormous amount of frustration at him. Then, she transformed into Abe to which she 'listened' for his own thoughts or emotions.

'Hm, I think she might be mad at me,' Abe thought, his mood somewhat curious and amused, 'Then again, that's how she's been feeling all night…' She morphed back into her dark skinned self and sighed, seeing as how she had let her feelings alert him to her dislike…and that made him laugh?! Phi'Nadell was a bit confused as why he would think her hatred for psychics would be amusing. Back when she was still a royal assassin (which she still thought she was), most would quiver in fear when they heard that Phi'Nadell herself was hunting them.

"The days of old," she sighed as she pushed away from the door and to the bathroom, "When I was feared above all else…" Here, she was still a foreigner and still getting used to her surroundings. She was acting like some child, chatting away so amiably with strangers and so ignorant. How she wished she was still in the Underworld! Phi'Nadell looked to the bed and frowned at what was on it.

"In the name of the Gods…what article of clothing is this?!" Phi'Nadell picked up the skimpy black nightgown along with lacy black underwear, a white note slipping from its folds. She picked it up and read it, her frown growing.

"_Dear Phi'Nadell, I know you don't have anything to sleep in, so I asked an agent to drop off something. Yes, it's mine, and you can use it. Have fun sleeping with Abe! Liz._" Phi'Nadell growled at the last sentence, knowing the implied meaning, "Yes…fun…of course…may your womb be rendered inhospitable for your joke." Phi'Nadell tossed the note away, not meaning a word of her curse. Phi'Nadell carefully peeled off the bloody clothes and stacked them neatly in a corner of the room, trying to get blood on anything. She filled the bathtub with lukewarm water and lowered herself in it, washing all of the dead werewolf's blood off her clothes.

"…To know thy enemy, one must become thy enemy," she breathed in and out, calming herself into a state of relaxed tension, "Observation is key to one's survival, and so I must endure this. Grant me strength." Phi'Nadell concentrated, hard, and focused on each aspect of her new friends.

"First, the red man," she softly muttered, her skin turning red and horns growing up on her head. However, instead of totally shifting into Hellboy's form, she stayed in her female state, only gaining his talents and special gifts. Phi'Nadell stared at her now stone arm, completely feminized.

"Hm, super human strength," Phi'Nadell closed her stone fist and then looked up at her horns, "Menacing appearance…" Phi'Nadell looked at the carvings that trailed down her stone arm to her chest and further.

"What do these symbols mean?" she bit her lip in pondering, but she sighed, "Perhaps another time…his visage is of the devil…perhaps he is liken to fire?" She looked to a few candles and she got up and out of the tub, grabbing a lighter that was nearby and lighting the candle. Bracing herself, she held her hand over the flame and felt no pain, confirming her observation. Suddenly feeling odd in her buttocks area, she glanced at the tail jutting from her backside and swung the appendage to and fro as a test.

"Interesting…the devil incarnate," she sank back into the tub and changed back, "More research will be done later perhaps. Now, the girl…" Phi'Nadell saw her skin pale quite a bit, her hair turning black. She forced a flame into existence and it covered her entire arm. As it traveled down, the water started to bubble and Phi'Nadell quickly cut it off, morphing back and jumping out of the water, the scalding hot water burning her skin.

"Not the wisest of choices," she scolded herself, wincing as she touched a hand to her burned side, "If that is all she possesses, that only leaves the last one…the psychic." Phi'Nadell, however, decided to wait until the water was cool enough to morph, figuring it'd be better to be in the water. Phi'Nadell slipped back in, adding cold water to speed up the process, and focused again. Her hair receded, exposing a now rather large and blue forehead. Her hair became more focused in the back now, turning a dark blue. She opened her eyes and saw things a bit differently, as if she were using a large lens camera.

"Abe Sapien," she muttered, looking at her webbed blue hands, pink on the palm, "I still believe he is a merman…" She looked down and sighed.

"I've messed it up," she shook her head as she saw a long mermaid tail instead of webbed feet, "Oh well, this won't change anything. I know that he can swim." She felt a touch of uneasiness as she touched her neck, gills arranged delicately.

"He has the ability to breath over and underwater," Phi'Nadell observed, then sank into the tub under the water, "…_Water content doesn't matter, he can filter out most contaminants I suppose…_" She rose up out again and focused on her newly found mental abilities.

"Abe Sapien," she mumbled as she focused and searched for his own feelings and thoughts. She caught his slightly sleepy thoughts, the fish man preparing himself for sleep.

"He can feel emotions, read others thoughts, and he can mind-search," she opened her eyes again and sighed, "If he wanted he could look into this very room if he wanted to…" Self-consciously, she barricaded her mind and made sure that his mind couldn't enter the room. Morphing back, she finished her bath and dried herself off, staring warily at the pajamas and underwear. Phi'Nadell slipped on the lacy panties, the black blending with her skin, then she put on the slip of a nightgown. It only went to her thighs and it hugged her body and showed off her curves.

"It makes one wonder what occasion she keeps this for…" Phi'Nadell chuckled, but then shuddered as she realized something, "Oh Gods, please let this be clean." She slipped into the comfy bed and sighed, just cuddling into the softness. However, she opened her eyes a few moments later and morphed into a female form of Abe, sending her thoughts to Thrule.

'I need to know…' she thought, hoping he was all right. Her mind-search finally ended when she saw Thrule curled up and sleeping soundly. She sent thoughts and waves of comfort and calm, Thrule giving a lopsided smile. However, she felt her search interrupted by another force, and she felt Abe's own mind watching with her.

'_Checking up on your friend, I see_,' Abe thought to her, and she mentally rolled her eyes.

'_Yes, nothing of _your_ concern_,' she replied, continuing to look at Thrule.

'_You don't like me much, do you?_' he asked.

'_No,_' she confirmed.

'_Then why did you talk to me before you went into your room?_'

'_I was sincerely interested_."

'_In what species I was?_'

'_Yes…and no, I'm a naturally curious person and I wanted to know more about the Professor. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going back to sleep._'

'_Of course…_' Phi'Nadell drifted back to her body and changed back, slowly peeling the covers down, her body just a little hot. Then, she jolted as she felt Abe's presence in the room, glaring at the nonexistent form that was there.

'_Oh, pardon me_,' Abe excused himself as he backed out, unintentionally having followed her back into her own room, '…_Interesting choice of sleep wear, good night._' Blushing a fierce red, she threw the covers off and stormed into the study, where Abe turned and looked at her with a slightly surprised expression, half expecting this.

"You…you…fiend!" she marched straight to the glass, "Leave me alone! You know my feelings for you and yet you persist in annoying me!"

"…I apologize if you feel my presence is annoying," Abe replied quietly, floating down to Phi'Nadell's level, "I just haven't had company in this room for quite some time. Since the Professor's departure…few have come here, including Liz and Hellboy." Phi'Nadell stared into his deep black eyes and managed to get a hold of her temper. The fish man was just lonely, that was all, and that conversation earlier must have had some sort of longing effect on him. She had been too wrapped in her own worries, fears, insecurities, and whatever else that she failed to see his own, afraid that he might see them and so she acted rather rudely and vile towards him when he meant no harm.

"I see," Phi'Nadell sighed and turned around, walking to the sofa and sitting down, "So…since I can't sleep with you bothering me and you can't sleep _without_ bothering me, perhaps we should make amends and start anew. I am Phi'Nadell." She bowed her head, a few white tendrils of hair slinked down off of her shoulder as she did so.

"And I am Abe Sapien," Abe played along, bowing in his tank, "A pleasure to meet you." For the whole night, Abe and Phi'Nadell had talked and she finally seemed to warm up to the cold-blooded fish man. For hours, they discussed books, literature, the human culture, and even their knowledge on various creatures, although Phi'Nadell continued to be careful to avoid his persistence in the subject of merpeople and where her knowledge came from exactly. Finally, when Phi'Nadell could feel her entire system shutting down, telling her to rest, she bid him ado.

"Good night, Abe," she yawned, getting up and stretching a little, "It was quite pleasant talking to you for these past hours with an intelligent man, despite the fact you are a psychic."

"I am going to guess that was a compliment," Abe chuckled, "Good night Phi'Nadell, and do not worry, I will not invade your dreams." Phi'Nadell laughed light-heartedly at the joke, no longer worrying about Abe browsing through her mind. She had learned that he was not the type of person who would raid someone's personal space when they wanted, he was just too good of a person to even think of it, although many have accused him of it he had told her. Phi'Nadell walked up to the glass and smiled, pressing a black-skinned hand up to the glass. Abe slowly came down and pressed his own hand against the glass, matching hers.

"_Acclinis falsis animus meliora recusat, abnormis sapiens_," she softly spoke, "Light is our enemy. Good night Abe, or we shall be drained of energy in the morning." Abe nodded and she took her hand away, but she noticed that he kept his hand stuck to the glass where hers were. Waving good bye, Phi'Nadell retreated to the Professor's old room and slipped into the bed, finally getting to sleep with her mind at ease.

"_Acclinis falsis animus meliora recusat, abnormis sapiens_," Abe repeated after her, looking to his hand, "That is not what it means…" Abe drifted back and felt his eyelids close. He gave a secret smile, and Phi'Nadell smiled as well as if knowing that he'd figure it out.

"_Acclinis falsis animus meliora recusat, abnormis sapiens_," he whispered one last time, "'The mind intent upon false appearances refuses to admit better things, wise one' by Horace…apology accepted Phi'Nadell…"

* * *

chiv-id: By the way, that's latin, and both of the phrases are real, written by Horace (whoever that is...):

1) _Acclinis falsis animus meliora recusat _The mind intent upon false appearances refuses to admit better things.

2) _Abnormis sapiens_ Wise without instruction.

chiv-id: Isn't latin fun? Seriously though, the abnormis sapiens I thought was just too coincidental since that phrase sounds like Abe Sapien.

Phi'Nadell: Sam, are you all right, you seem a little...

chiv-id: What?

Abe: Your eyes are all bloodshot and your brain activity is near to flatlining.

chiv-id: ...Really? 'Cause I feel-zzzz...(snores loudly)

Abe and Phi'Nadell: ... (Phi'Nadell grabs chiv-id's shoulders, Abe gets her legs and carry her to the bedroom)

Hellboy: Well, looks like sleeping beauty's out, so I'll say this for her...give up your reviews and I won't have to shoot you with my Samaritan. I'm not a good shot, but I've got really big bullets, and as long as you're hear reading this I can shoot your ass up. So just try to get out of here without reviewing (cocks gun) ...I dare ya.


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